As I continue to recover from pregnancy and birth, I find myself feeling surprisingly positive. My body has changed for sure. I accept that it (much like life) will never be the same in ways both positive and negative. That was a part of the deal struck when my partner and I decided to plan our family. But it's hard to be overly critical of a body that grew, birthed (albeit with interventions), and nourished my healthy baby girl. It's hard also to harbor the same mixed feelings about my physical appearance -- those ones that plagued me as an adolescent and early post-adolescent -- when everyone says that baby girl looks just like me. She has such a sweet, lovable, curious face. Her face indeed resembles my own baby photos closely. I cringe at the thought of her being hard on herself about her looks as she matures. And when I think about the overly critical, appearance-obsessed world in which she will grow, I worry.
There was and still is something validating about the fact that my younger sister and I look so alike. Even though I can be hard on myself, I think she's gorgeous. And I feel the same way about my daughter. My heart breaks at the thought of her or my sister being so self-critical. So why should I be hard on myself? It sets a bad example and it just doesn't add up! It also makes me wish I hadn't put my own parents through the ringer with my own adolescent self-criticism. The idea that Emilia might someday find fault with a visage that I find so beautiful is kind of devastating.
The outfit above was my trying out options for Valentine's Day. Although the wrap fits, I know it would look way better if I steamed it and put it on over tights. It's too cold to wear it sans tights anyway and even though I'm 10 weeks postpartum I still really like the added support from control top. Still, trying stuff on without Spanx helps me keep perspective on where my body is at the moment.
Outfit details:
DVF Greer in spring shadows print
Bravado tank underneath
MBMJ pumps
RedEnvelope necklace (c/o)
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