Blasphemy: The Dirty Dancing Remake

Okay, I am about to lose millions of cool points here and reveal a dork soft side of my snarky personality, but I am so mad I could go postal. Lionsgate has announced plans to remake the iconic film Dirty Dancing. This is the movie that made Patrick Swayze a household name. However cheesy and over-the-top you may consider it, it's still a beloved classic and to even think about remaking it is heresy in my book. I don't care that the original choreographer, Kenny Ortega, is on board. He lost any respect from me when he went on to do those godawful High School Musical movies.

Who could possibly be as charismatic and as great a dancer as Patrick? That brooding Twilight wannabee Kenny Wormald from the nearly as heinous Footloose remake? Or what about Jennifer Grey's Baby? Do they think Julianne Hough, the paper doll who is co-starring in Footloose, would fit the bill?

This is sacrilege, I tell you, and I cannot even begin to describe how sad this makes me. This was the movie for me in high school. I don't even remember how many times I saw it with my friends. We'd pay for one show, then sneak out and go back in for the second showing at the old movie palace near my house. It was the first film I can ever remember my mom and I both liking. Since we're polar opposites, that's saying something.

I know some of you out there are laughing, going "jeez Mel, you have lost your damned mind. It's just a freakin' dance movie." I don't care. Patrick Swayze was one of my idols. I love him like I love Johnny Depp.

What do you think? Do you even care? Do you think I am the biggest nutcase loser ever?